I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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