Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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