Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I think i sorta joined a cult last night
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
