Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize