im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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