i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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