if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
