i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
