i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
