Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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