bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
