rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize