I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
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