We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This is the high leading the old right now
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
