is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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