they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
