umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
