Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
