Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
