Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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