You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize