HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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