i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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