somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
