Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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