Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
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