ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
