i just wanna soil my oats bro
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
