I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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