So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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