I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
