who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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