Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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