playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Randomize
