Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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