He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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