I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
farters have to be the big spoon...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
