Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Randomize
