Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
