Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
