I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize