If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
