You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
being pregnant is like rehab
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
