your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Randomize
