I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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