he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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