to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
