I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize