Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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