physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
