Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
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