If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Randomize
