You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
