I wish you could order shots online.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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