So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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