your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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