Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
that is very illegal...i love you.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
